“Oh baby,” Axel purrs sensuously, straddling you as the dim light of the room reflects off of his smooth, bronzed bare chest. “Are you ready for it? Do you think you can handle riding my white tiger?”

You nod, every inch of your body - down to that secret spot there - quivering in lust and anticipation. Yes, you’ve been ready for this. You’ve been waiting your whole life for this moment.

Axel slides his skin-tight white pants off of his tanned hips and reveals his manhood.

It’s a real, living, breathing white tiger. And it has rabies.

No one survives that night.